shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Randomize
