don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
