Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize