Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
