I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
