in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
