How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
