Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Are my feet made of real feet?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You may now shotgun with the bride
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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