Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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