If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
