i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
