im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
