I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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