I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
