They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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