Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
