chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
