I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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