i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
im six kinds of drunk right now
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
