Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
