drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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