I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I cut my penus on the lid.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
