you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
