absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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