sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
