I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I want to fling myself into the sun
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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