someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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