that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
