Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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