She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
