And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
