I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
