She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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