Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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