Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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