Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
