after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
