Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
