new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My dick has a subreddit
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
