Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
