The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
