can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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