so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
