Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
