everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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