Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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