I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
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