i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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