Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
