One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
