It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize