I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
